ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
