okay pat passed out under dana's car
I puked a lego.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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