i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize