New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
