Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
