Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
This toilet bowl is my home.
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