College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
