my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
