How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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