you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
