She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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