i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
try to milk me bitch
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