Rock
Scissors
Fuck
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You can't just leave with hair like that
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
