He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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