hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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