all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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