he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
