found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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