i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
