nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
