no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
