Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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