waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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