i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
