i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
