i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
