i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
