I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
