The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
