i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
