True but thats because hes a fetus.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize