Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
