Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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