If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We named our party play list daddy issues
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
