Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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