butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I need moral support for this bender
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
