No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
