What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
