2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Are we still banned from the library?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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