hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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