Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
