i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
