i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
