Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
