he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
