you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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