Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
