it hurts more in the daytime
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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