You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
