No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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