really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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