Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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