i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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