She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
