are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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