if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
