Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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