Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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