And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
how can u be prego again
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
