so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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