I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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