I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Send help, water and tortillas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
