I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
