This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
