my mouth tastes like poor choices
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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