I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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