Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
