no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize