i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
