I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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