Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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