her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
