Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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