Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
