some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
