Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
