I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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