Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
